Friends who follow up
On my way to work this morning I phoned a friend. We chatted about a few things and just before he rang off he asked “And how are you doing now?”
For a split second I had no idea what he was referring to. Then I remembered. I had asked him to pray for me a while back, as I was going through a tough time in terms of faith. The scary thing was, I had become so used to having an empty, unfulfilling faith life that his question caught me unawares. I’d started to see this broken spirituality as the norm and was only half-heartedly still chasing after more. I had settled for mediocrity.
This scares me, even as I’m sitting here writing. How can it be so easy for me to be satisfied with such a hollow excuse for a spiritual life? During this time, as I drifted farther away from God it became easier and easier for me to justify my sins and just to mumble a “please forgive me” before drifting off to sleep at night. I kept thinking of grace as the big blackboard eraser that made sure things weren’t completely hopeless.
For the rest of the drive to work and for big parts of the day this kept milling in my head. And I realised a thing or two about myself. I am a very proud, self-centred person. It’s all about me. My faith, my beliefs, my forgiveness, my comfort. Even the words I use. Words like “believer”, because it’s easy to believe. Words that change Jesus and Christianity into an abstract idea that you can either take or leave. But phrases like “serving God” comes hard to me, because of the humility implied in it, the relationship and the fact that I’ll have to surrender my will and agenda. All of a sudden I’m not that great.
There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called Magnificent Obsession. In the song he yearns for God to capture his heart again, to become his consuming passion. I listened to it again today and just realised that it describes the life I want, the relationship with God that desperately need.
So I’m thankful for friend who cares enough to follow up.
June 26th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
First let me say thank you for stopping by my blog and for the sharing your congratulations
It is great to have friends around the world!
Love the transparency of your blog and thankful that Jesus has placed friends around you that love you as he does!
Zeke
June 27th, 2007 at 12:02 am
Hi Zeke
I had a look at your pic of Elijah on the Yahoo link from your blog. It’s great!You all look so happpy and proud.
Ja, good friends. You can’t measure the value of that.
June 27th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Thanks for your thoughts on my page. I didn’t know people actually wrote stuff i posted a week or more ago, haha. it’s great.
I didn’t grow up in a ‘christian’ home. The challenge you mention of it being more harmful that good makes sense. Typically because most followers of Christ are ‘claimers’ not does of the Word. Especially in our little believer circles there is a ton of pride taken for boasting of faith.
I too have wrestled (even as you mentioned in your post here) with the idea of God’s forgiveness, love, mercy. You and i can merely forgive each other (erase the blackboard). Only God works in us continually to change what goes on the blackboard. Just remember forgiveness and love from God are never earned, never have a cost to us. that changes things.
June 28th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Thanks for stopping by.
I like the analogy of God actually changing what goes on the blackboard. The fact that grace is never earned or deserved is aconstant, but the only thing we are able to change as God works in us is what is written on the board.